its so hard to go from dr appointments almost every other day, traveling to a different state for treatment, constantly cleaning up, packing, unpacking, driving, flying, filling prescriptions, er visits...having very little time to sit and relax, {and when we had the time, we tried to sleep, and be with eachother} to nothing. dont get me wrong, we cut back a lot after jan 25, when we were sent home with numbers to hospice, but i was still constantly doing something...helping jason with everyday activities, finding natural treatments, changing our diet, cleaning up everyday messes, fighting, encouraging and helping jason fight....and now i have nothing....nothing to keep me busy, to keep me going, no jason to keep me fighting....
i have to start over, by myself...and have no clue how to, or even where to begin...
i have a death wish, i wish every day to be gone, with jason. i have a death wish but i am not suicidal, i just wish to have my life back, and if i cant have him back, wish to be where he is...
Hi. Tahsha here, widowed at 26. Thanks for you painfully honest words. I love it when other people's words express my own emotion, especially when it's something I've been afraid to say. I have a death wish too. I want to be with Brad so badly, in a wonderful place far away from all of this. Why couldn't God just take me too? Of course, I'm not suicidal, but being there would be SO much easier than being here. Stay strong. You can visit my blog if you want. Reading other peoples stuff helps me.
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