today is going to be a bad day...i can feel it...thinking a lot about what were going to miss out on in life...i cant even imagine doing things that jason n i planned with someone else...i cant imagine someone else in my life..ever.

granted we experienced so much that a lot of people wont face in their lifetime...not all good. we had the most amazing bond ever, but it should have been for many more years... Jason is my best friend, i could/would tell him everything, we didnt hold stuff back with each other, we always knew what the other was thinking {i was constantly asking jason what he was thinking, he made fun of me for it all the time.} i always knew he would be there for me no matter what, he would hold me when i cried, listen to rant n rave about whatever had upset me, laugh at me when appropriate {even some inapropriate times} we could joke about everything {even his cancer, people got extremely butt hurt by it} we lived our lives to the fullest...

and now i dont know how to...im so lost to even know where to begin...